Bad Dog Daisy

Here’s the thing about Daisy:  I can tell that people get tired of us apologizing for her behavior and calling her a “very bad dog.”

“Is this the face of a Very Bad Dog?  Of course not. I’m ADORABLE.”


She is, of course, just a dog.  She is really not oh-so-very-bad, except that when we “talk for her” in the privacy of our own home, one of us will say, “Are you a good girl?”  And then the other will reply in the Daisy voice (a low, rough, man voice, for some reason) “Nope, I’m a bad girl. Very, very bad.”  (And now you know that we’re insane people.)  It’s something of a joke, though to be clear, Daisy has:

  • Climbed through windows
  • Gotten on the counters in every home she’s ever been in
  • Stolen bacon out of a pan
  • Knocked over and opened more than one dog-proofed trash can
  • Lunged at people
  • Utterly subjugated other dogs
  • Jumped up in the wheelchair of an elderly woman
  • Proceeded to give elderly woman kisses
  • Stood on the shoulders of various family members
  • Attempted to chase various children
  • Nearly gotten us kicked out of our apartment
  • Escaped a kennel at the boarding facility
  • Escaped my parents’ fence
  • Escaped our fence
  • Escaped through our front door

And these are just the ones I can think of right now. There are almost certainly more. When I leave in the morning, I remind her to “Be Sweet Daisy Jane, not Bad Dog Daisy.” She usually just looks at me like, “Lady. Get out so I can go get in your bed.”

It’s this face. This is the “go away” face.

Her biggest issue remains “people at the door,” though, and since this was our first Halloween with trick-or-treaters, I was so worried.  Freak outs + escape tendencies + children in costume could equal total disaster.

But I was wrong.

Oh, sure, she whined and barked when she heard people walking up the front steps, but after I got up and opened the door, she just stood on her side of the gate and waited.

She didn’t lunge.

She didn’t try to escape.

She wasn’t particularly happy.

But she was not an oh-so-very-bad dog.

“Right, but only because I had already used up all my bad for the day attempting to steal your pants.”

And then when my law school buddy Brandon stopped by the house, she was totally cool with his presence.  I didn’t even have to make him wait outside while I leashed her up.  He was just a new person.  Apparently we’re cool with new people now.

“Who are you?  What are you doing in my house?  Don’t you try to touch my new toy!  Here are some kisses that you definitely don’t want!  I’m GOING TO JUMP ON YOU NOW!”

As always, we apologized for her. She’s a very bad dog.

But she’s a very bad dog who’s made all the progress in the world, and is starting to like newcomers to the house.  Even her alarm bark has changed for the most part from, “GET OFF MY STEPS” to “There’s someone here!  Who’s here!  MOM GET THE DOOR!”

And that’s a Bad Dog Daisy I’ll snuggle every single day.

She hates it when I use her as a head rest.  So I do it all the time. Fair’s fair. She sleeps on me, too.

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